When is spandex fashionable?
When you are at THE CLASH show in Portland, Maine!
THE CLASH is a ‘battle of the bands’ of sorts that happens in Portland, Maine throughout the year. It happened that the one night I decided to go walk around Portland, was the night of THE CLASH. Walking down the street, I stopped the first 3 people I happened upon and asked “What cool is there to do in Portland tonight?”
“THE CLASH” they replied unanimously and super-excited. So I had to go. They led me down the street to the local venue, Port City Music Hall.
It’s only $5 to get in, but the drinks were rather expensive – $11 for a shot of Jagger and a Cranberry juice.
I had to get the scoop on what THE CLASH is. This is my massacred understanding of how THE CLASH works:
One guy started THE CLASH event. For each show, he picks 2 well-known music artists whose songs they will cover (U2 vs The Rolling Stones for example). This original guy becomes ‘team leader’ for one band (pretty sure this is what they meant). Then he picks one local musician to be ‘team leader’ for the other competing cover band. This ‘team leader’ picks; say, someone he want to be the drummer. Then the drummer picks who he wants to be the guitarist, and so on until there are enough people to form a band. So it’s all local musicians who form these bands..but may have never all played together before. Then each “team” learns a bunch of songs from the artist they are covering.
At THE CLASH event, a coin is flipped to decide which cover band goes first. The winner of the coin toss comes out and plays one song. Then the next cover band plays one song. Then the first band comes back and plays another song.
The bands take turns playing one song at a time and at the end of the night; the crowd votes by cheering who the winner is. They clash bands like Madonna vs Lady Gaga; Rocky Horror Picture Show vs Greece; Soundgarden vs, Pearl Jam. This night it was..
wait for it..
(now you understand where the spandex comes in)
Oh, you don’t? Well let me show you:
Yes, this stunning young man is looking quite fashionable in a black and white diamond-checkered-pattern spandex unitard. This ensemble is enhanced by the single gold chain he has chosen to wear; which really brings out his hair. He accessorizes this piece with a microphone; which he sways ever so subtly as he parades down the stage in this exquisite attire created by someone with way too much awesomeness to even say their name.
This is the singer for ‘Queen’. The ‘David Bowie’ side had considerably less spandex and considerably more makeup (you can’t do Bowie without the makeup)
Just look how he matched the his gold lipstick and gold eyeshadow to the giant gold circle on his forehead! So simple; yet so elegant!
Oh yes! Not only do the bands play the songs…they get all dressed up too!
Its HILARIOUS!
The crowd goes nuts! The bands are insane! And the entire 20-30something population of Portland, Maine comes out to watch.
If you are planning a trip to Portland, Maine; I highly suggest to call Port City Music Hall and find out when the next THE CLASH is; and plan your trip around that! (ps: if you click any of the links to THE CLASH or Port City – you will be taken to their websites so you CAN plan your trip around this event!)
And now, for your enjoyment…more photos of dudes in spandex and makeup:
