I had quite a few Colombian Prostitutes while in Medellin. They are delicious, they look sexy as hell, they really know to hit that sweet spot, and they only cost $2.50!
IT’S A DRINK!
(you pervert)
(stay tuned to the end to get the recipe..but first…here’s a short history of the drink)
Joaquin en el Mundo, on his first, last night at The Wandering Paisa Hostel in Medellin – (yes, he had 2 last nights) – decided he needed to make a legacy. So together (ok, mostly him, I offered the grenadine part) came up with a new drink for the bar. We brainstormed a bit on what the drink should have, then when we liked a potential combination, I made the drink, and it was awesome. (We added the grenadine to give it the sweetness and delightfully girly color it needed).
“What should we name this?”
“THE COLOMBIAN PROSTITUTE!”,
Joaquin exclaimed without hesitation.
“FUCKING BRILLIANT!”
This drink immediately became the number one, most popular drink in the hostel. Not only could people brag that they had a Colombian prostitute while in Medellin..the drink is unbelievably delicious to boot!
There has also been quite a controversy about the drink. Some drunk guy came into the hostel one night, with his girlfriend, both being all obnoxious and obstinate and trying to cause problems. (like trying to grab the microphone out of people’s hand to go on rants, refusing to leave the bar when it was closing, threatening people and having to be escorted out…you know, THOSE kind of people).
Then, this deuchebag went on Couchsurfing and started bashing the hostel, and ALL foreigners for being racist (Yea, ok. That’s why locals love the hostel as much as foreigners), and said the Colombian Prostitute was insulting, racist, and demeaning to Colombians.
Dude, I live in Vegas. If a bar made a drink called ‘The Vegas Hooker’, our hookers would promote the fuck out of it. Stop trying to be all mighty, and bullying, and crap and get a sense of humour.
Oh, did I mention this guy was trying to hit on me, over the same Couchsurfing, a couple months before?
Yea. He was. Very creepy and ‘HEYYY’ like too.
I didn’t realize it was the same guy, until I saw his photo next to the ridiculous accusations and threats he made towards the hostel, its owners, and all foreigners, on Couchsurfing. This guy is a creep. I wonder if he was dating the girlfriend he showed up to the hostel that night, during the time he was trying to pick me up over Couchsurfing. (Yea, I reported him on Couchsurfing).
So anyway, this drink name has changed. I have no idea what it is now. We had a vote after this incident to change the name Colombian Prostitute. (which I personally thought was ridiculous…change the name because of one guy troll..but whatever)
We voted during a karaoke night, where most of the visitors were local Colombians. The name that was voted?
THE PAISA BLOWJOB (oh yea, cause that’s better than The Colombian Prostitute.)
Best part?
Many who had:
1. loved the original name;
&
2. jumped on the ‘Oh It’s a bad name’ bandwagon…
were the same ones who voted this name!
(Good job guys.)
Then someone got offended at the word ‘BLOWJOB’ , and erased it so it just said THE PAISA.
So I erased the whole thing and called it THE PROSTITUTE (since the main thing this troll guy was complaining about was the word “Colombian”…he was fine with the prostitute part)
Then the name got changed to THE BLOODY PAISA (oh yea, cause that’s not stereotypical and insulting to the reputation of Medellin at ALL)
Plus, this drink is nothing like a Bloody Mary in the least, and that name is quite misleading.
I honestly have no idea what the name of this drink is now. But I still call it THE COLOMBIAN PROSTITUTE. So does Joaquin. So do most of the regular patrons (local and foreign) to the TWP Bar.
So here, finally, is the recipe for the infamous COLOMBIAN PROSTITUTE.
If you are in Medellin, go to The Wandering Paisa and ask for it by THIS name. If you can get your local bar to make it, or better yet, put it up on their ‘Specials’ board, PLEASE take a photo and post it to my Facebook page (facebook.com/TCPDrink). If I get enough photos and feedback, I may even start a page dedicated to this drink and all who love it!
The Colombian Prostitute
(in rocks glass):
2 or 3 ice cubes
1 shot dark rum
1 shot orange juice
fill almost to top with tonic water
about 2 1/2 to 3 good circles of grenadine over the top
Squeeze in the juice from a lime wedge
(from 2 lime wedges if they are small or those stupid non-juicy key limes)
DRINK AND DROOL AT THE AWESOMENESS!
Enjoy!
And remember:
If you make this / have this made at the bar / get it on a bar’s SPECIALS board … PLEASE send me photos and video. Or just comment on if you like the drink or not.
I want to hear about you and your Colombian Prostitute experiences!
CHEERS!
About Dani Blanchette
