So, I do this. I hope I’m not the only one…but the more I’m planning my trip, the more I’m starting to feel like “what the fuck am I thinking?” And “how the hell am I ever going to pull this off?”

I still need a dslr camera, a laptop, rabies shots, and external SSD (solid state drives) or something to keep backup photos on.  And on top of all this, I still need to sell my stuff (going very slowly, almost non-existintly), and save at least $4000 more…in 3 months!

I’m also still waiting to find out if court for my stolen car will delay this trip or not, the place my roommate and I are renting we are now taking to court for a number of health and saftey issues…so we can get out of here.  Oh, and they removed our gate codes so now we have to sit at the gate waiting for either the security or another tenant to come by and let us into our complex (honestly, I don’t know how these people could possibly think this will help their case in court)

Yeah, life happens.  And it likes to do so all at once.  But the “how the hell am I going to make enough money to do this when I have no idea what I’m doing” factor is the worst!  I’m really trying to force myself to not do nothing and just give up!

But I knew this was coming. Every big trip (in or out of country) I do, I go through this. It will pass (usually once I buy the plane ticket…but because of court for my car, I can’t yet).  But I feel the need to write about this feeling of dread, hopelessness, uncertainty, and WTFamidoing?

This blog is about not just my trip, but the emotions and things leading up to it…and this is one of those emotion things.  I doubt I’m the only one that goes through this. I hope this post may help someone else who feels the same, so they can know they are not alone.

But how the hell am I going to save 4grand plus sell all my stuff? (which will almost pay for the camera and laptop…if I can get it to sell!)

Arrgghhh.