So I’ve been a horrible tourist and done nothing in Quito but hanging out with friends and going to rock shows, rock band rehearsals, studio recordings for rock bands, etc. Oh and drinking.  But the reason I like hanging out with friends in places more than seeing traditional touristy things is for the fact that TOURISTS DON’T GET AWESOME NIGHTS LIKE THIS!

Ok, so I was invited to some “lame” show (not my word) where a death metal band, Colapso, was hired to perform at some pop show in Quito.  THIS IN ITSELF IS A PRETTY FUNNY MENTAL PICTURE.

But then things got even greater than I could have ever expected.

We pulled up to – not an indoor venue gig like I was picturing – but some local square park small town gathering!  With a stage.  And speakers blasting Spanish-pop-dance-techno music and a bunch of really osteoporized people (aka “old” , and thank you Diego for that description and one of my new favourite words) and lots of really small children dancing on the cobblestone pathway in front of the stage. 

What was even better was what wasn’t at this “concert”…like a drum kit, or way to mic said drum kit. 

Notice all the space on stage for the drums. Notice the lack of said equipment.

But there were many things this “concert” did have:

Like:

– Random woman selling some sort of meat (I think it may have been some kind of bird) from a tent stall

-Stray dogs (that kept hanging out next to said food stalls and trying to get into the garbage cans looking for food)

-Old guys selling candy to little kids from a table

-Disco lights

-Locals enjoying alcoholic libations (well  pretty much all anyone seems to do in Ecuador is drink)

AND

-Hot “bluebird” alcohol from a random plastic container. (I cant remember the name in Spanish, but the stuff tastes like Sweet Tarts or sugary candy and is quite strong AND delicious AND deadly).

So what does a death metal band do at a pop local townie outdoor “concert” with no drums and no actual audience:

ENJOY SOME DELICIOUS BLUEBIRD LIQUOR O’DEATH

and have their photo taken in front of the empty stage for the concert that was never meant to be. (notice the kid on stage in the background sitting down, cause there’s really nothing to do when there ISNT ANY FUCKING THING ON STAGE)

This was SO MUCH MORE HILARIOUS than I could have ever expected. 

(I think this may beat the time I drove around with friends for a couple hours to find the  club they were supposed to play at, that turned out had got closed down due to tax evasion , and we ended up playing at some pool hall bar in Pawtucket, RI where the average age was like 50 and my friend played bass in a full gorilla costume and we cleared the local patrons of the bar out by the end of the set.)

So after this SHOW FAIL OF AWESOMENESS we just went back to the practice space and the band played for me and the only 2 other people that actually showed up to see them.

Also, Colapso is really fucking good. And should have never in a million years be asked to play here.  I really don’t know what the people in charge of stuff are thinking sometimes.

If you want to HEAR the music that was playing when we pulled up, check out this short video I shot to give you the full effect of how awesome this show fail was!